


Michael's Hoodie

by babyperidot



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Angst, Dialogue Heavy, Heavy Angst, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Self-Harm, TRIGGER WARNING GUYS, Wow this is dark, be warned, kinda self explanatory, vent-ish?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-10
Updated: 2018-07-10
Packaged: 2019-06-08 00:43:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,110
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15231633
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/babyperidot/pseuds/babyperidot
Summary: Jeremy wonders why Michael always wears a hoodie.Alternatively titled: Jeremy makes a lot of mistakes and this fic, and Michael makes even more.





	Michael's Hoodie

Michael stared blankly at the screen in front of him, eyes hazy, not really focusing on what was going on. His gaze kept flicking back to Jeremy, making sure he looked...happy? Not bored of video games, not bored of...well, him. As stupid as that might sound, it wouldn’t be surprising at all to him.

Jeremy not only /looked/ happy, he /was/ happy. Sure, times were…well, far from perfect, but he was okay now. They were okay now. Still, this was the first time Michael had been in his basement since...well, the fact Jeremy didn't know just proved his point. It was long overdue. 

Of course, as he sat, his mind continued to drift back to Michael. To something he’d been wanted to talk to Michael about for months now: His hoodie. It was like he never took it off. For some reason that little detail stuck to the back of his head, never really going away. Jeremy just watched him, hoping if he stayed quiet Michael would eventually catch on.

Meanwhile, Michael shifted on his beanbag, catching Jeremy watching from the corner of his eyes. Why was Jeremy looking at him like that? He cleared his throat.

“Hey, Jeremy. You doing okay?” Michael asked. Jeremy nodded.

“Yeah, Yeah, I’m fine. All good.” He replied as he continued staring shamelessly. Maybe his hoodie was just insanely soft? But that still wasn’t a reason to wear it all the time. Maybe it was the memories associated with it? What does he wear when it’s being washed?

“Um…are you sure?” Michael repeated. He pulled at his sleeves, hoping Jeremy would stop. It was like every inch of him was being analyzed, and it wasn’t a great feeling. Why was Jeremy looking at his hoodie so much? Michael could normally read him like a book.

Unless…Oh.

Ok.

Michael relaxed a bit, almost relived despite the serious circumstances.

“You’re wondering about my hoodie, aren’t you?” He asked nonchalantly. Jeremy nodded sheepishly.

“I’m just curious, dude. You wear that hoodie all the time! What do you wear when you wash it?” Jeremy asked, leaning forward.

“Anything with long sleeves.” He replied flatly, turning his attention back to the screen.

“Why do you wear long sleeves then? I mean, isn’t it hot?” Jeremy asked, leaning his head against Michael’s in a seemingly playful way. If Michael moved he’d probably fall over though. Pushing up his glasses, Michael let out a dry chuckle.

“Of course it’s hot. Especially during summer.”

“Then why aren’t you wearing a T-shirt like I do?” Jeremy asked with a grin. He couldn’t understand why he would be wearing it if he was hot. Michael let out a forced laugh.

“I used to. I wore like…bracelets and stuff. From bands? But I ended up needing too many of them, and then it just kinda looked stupid. I’m fine.”

“C’mon, it looked cool! So why do you like to hide your arms so much?” Jeremy grabbed Michael’s hand as he paused the game again. He pulled his hand back.

“Well, what do you think?” Michael asked, “Take a lucky guess.”

“Look, I don’t know! Maybe you’re self-conscious or something?”

“I think you’re probably the most oblivious person I’ve ever met.” He crossed his arms, leaning back. Jeremy plopped onto Michael’s lap.

“Really? Come on. I actually have no idea why you love long sleeved clothing so much.” He said, rolling his eyes and looking up at Michael. He gave Jeremy a sarcastic look, before he shoved up one of his sleeves. He pulled away to reveal his entire fore arm was shredded up, from thin white scars to deep, crimson cuts that looked like they had only just dried. He balanced his elbow on his knee so it was facing Jeremy.

Jeremy’s world skidded to a halt. He sat up, staring at his arm with wide eyes.

“W-What..?” He forced the words out of his mouth, “W-I mean-why?” Jeremy stammered, looking back up at Michael. It was clear he was beyond shocked. After all, Michael was like the /least/ likely person to do that. Michael’s smile faltered.

"Why do you think? You-god, you can't tell me you're actually surprised? I've been doing this for years now, I /know/ you know about it." He snorted.

“Why…I mean, why are you doing this though?” He wouldn’t tell Michael he hadn’t noticed. That he hadn’t cared enough to notice. What was wrong with him?!

"I mean, ‘why not?’ seems like a better question. Everything's just kinda...gray. It’s been like that for a while. This is nice cause like...I actually feel something? It’s not a pleasant color, but it’s still…/a/ color. Proof I can still feel,” he stared at the ground, trying hopelessly to bring humor into the dark situation, “or at least try. Plus it just makes me one cut closer to death, right? The more the merrier, I always say."

Jeremy wanted to throw up.

“Never-/Never/ say that again Michael.” He whispered. “Is everything really that bad?” Michael avoided his gaze, letting out another forced laugh.

“Of course not. You know me, I love…exaggerating things for a better story. Guess I do have a little theater kid in me.” He cleared his throat. “All right! Now let’s get back to this game!”

“Michael-“Jeremy started. Michael’s eyes darkened.

"Look, I told you to drop it. It’s fine, but I /really/ don't want to talk about it." He took one look at Jeremy’s expression before rolling his eyes. "Look, I'm gonna head home. I'll see you again later. Or, if you're lucky, never." Jeremy shot up to intercept him.

“No! Nonono, please! W-We won’t talk about it anymore then, okay? Just please stay here with me-stay safe. I’m sorry.” Jeremy’s stomach twisted as he watched Michael slowly relax back into his seat. He slipped off his hoodie, threw it at Jeremy, and grabbed his controller to start a new game. Jeremy glanced down at the hoodie in his lap.

“What was that for?” Michael didn’t skip a beat, eyes trained on the screen.

“It’s for you.” He replied, hesitating for a second. “To keep, I mean.” Jeremy’s eyes widened.

“Your hoodie? But it’s-I mean, this is super important to you! To us!” Michael shrugged.

“I don’t need it anymore, now that ‘everything’s out in the open.’ You’ll appreciate it more than me.” Jeremy opened his mouth to protest, to remind Michael he’d want it when school started up again, that the patches represented who he was, but Michael shot one look at him, and Jeremy shut his mouth again.

He’d give it back later.

Later.


End file.
